Project 1 | Who Is Brian Delahunty?

It depends on who you ask. The way that I understand myself is likely not the way that you, the reader, think of me, and it is certainly not the way that a recommendation algorithm defines me. And that’s okay; we’re all trying to figure out who Brian is using different information for different reasons. As a reader, you know me as I write; algorithms know me as I scroll; and I know myself as I live. These stories, each a powerful construct with the ability to enhance or detract from our lives, co-evolve in the digital age, subtly influencing each other in interesting ways.

1. Who Is Brian Delahunty, to me?

I never feel quite satisfied with any answer I give to the question, “who are you?”. At 19 years old, I’m still very young and very much in the process of getting to know myself. I think that makes it hard to make declarative statements about who I am and who I’m not. There are some broader aspects of identity that I am quite comfortable defining myself by, though. I feel like there are a few main pillars of my identity that form the scaffold that my more superficial preferences and attitudes flesh out. The latter is the constantly fluctuating part of me that causes me to hesitate before declaring who I am. It’s my music taste, who I follow online, what I want to study, my goals, my politics, and how I present myself that I’m hesitant to put down on paper. The scaffold, though, the things I can’t see changing, I could write for hours about that.

I had actually originally dedicated this entire essay to just describing how I came to view myself as having strength of mind. I organized the essay around the story that I believe to be the genesis of that determination. To tell the short version, on December 25th, 2017, I was rushed to the hospital for emergency brain surgery. I had an infection called Subdural Empyema that was crushing my brain from the inside. The prognosis for patients with Subdural Empyema alone is not good, and the infecion was in my skin, sinuses, and blood too. (Dill) Luckily, the surgeries and antibiotics were effective at saving my life, but I still had a long way to go. The havoc wreaked by these infections left the right side of my body too weak to move and destroyed my coordination.

Image: Resting in between surgeries.

The doctors told me that it would take me three weeks before I would be strong enough to safely go home. I didn’t want to spend another day in that dysfunctional and disgusting pediatrics ward. I gave 110 percent effort in my scheduled rehabilitation and, when the physical therapists went home at night, I would keep working first by hobbling around my floor with my walker and eventually climbing a little set of stairs over and over again. Nine days had passed when I walked out the door of the hospital. I was just a kid when I was thrown into hell and yet somehow I still mustered up the will to claw my way back out, that's something that I’ll always be proud of. That experience gives me drive and direction. I feel like I have a responsibility to that kid. I live my life so that he would be proud if he saw where he was going, and when I feel like quitting, I remember that he didn’t.

While that experience is a big part of who I am, it's not the whole story. In stark and less inspirational contrast to my hospital story and yet just as much a part of me is my kindheartedness. It feels self aggrandizing to write that about myself, but I truly do want to see the people I care about be happy. I feel like I have a duty to be good to others–to treat them with respect and compassion. I cherish friendship and value kindness to others just as much as I take pride in my past. I value the close bonds I share with friends and loved ones more than anything else, and I feel the happiest when I’m around them.

2. Who Is Brian Delahunty, To The Algorithm?

The Algorithm, referring here generally to content recommendation algorithms like those of TikTok, YouTube, or Instagram, sees me as a collection of my preferences as indicated by my behaviors. The Algorithm isn't interested in how proud I am of my accomplishments or how much I value friendship, it’s concerned with how many seconds I spent watching a given video and whether or not I pressed like. (Geyser)

Image: Simplified Flow Chart of TikTok’s Algorithm. (The Batch)

It's astonishing how from such simple metrics, algorithms can learn so much about us. I recently downloaded TikTok and was wowed by the capabilities of its content algorithm. The app “reads your mind” to an extent that’s actually a little bit alarming, New York Times journalist Ben Smith notes in a 2021 article. (Smith) In the same article, Smith includes comments from algorithm analyst Guillaume Chaslot who expresses his concerns about the ability of TikTok’s algorithm to “steer the life of our kids” through targeted content. (Smith) His words caused me to reflect on my own experience using TikTok, and with algorithmic content recommendation in general. How much do I “steer” the algorithm and how much does the algorithm “steer” me?

Image: Usage of algorithm based social media. (Richter)

It’s an important question for those of my generation. We grew up on the internet, interacting with The Algorithm every day. It's a difficult thing to be introspective about, though, because my relationship with The Algorithm is a sort of coevolution. I’ve spent enough time online for The Algorithm to know what I like as well as what I might like. If at some point The Algorithm recommends something I might like, probably something similar to what I’m already interested in but slightly different, and I respond well, it might detect that change in my preferences and recommend more content like that. How much of the content that I engage with now is “my decision” and how much is the result of a ripple effect that started when I pressed like on something five years ago?

In my case it’s impossible to disentangle that answer retroactively, but new research supports this coevolution theory. Research group Media Matters conducted a study on how TikTok’s algorithm can radicalize its users. The group opened a new TikTok account and studied how the algorithm responded to interaction with transphobic content. They found that, in addition to more transphobia, the more a user interacts with transphobic content the more far right content they’re served, even if they never interact with it. (Keith)

Image: Relationship between transphobic and far right content. (Little, Richards)

One can imagine how in a real world situation, this type of content recommendation could take someone who was exclusively transphobic and would have stayed exclusively transphobic and lead them one step at a time into becoming racist and misogynistic too. This hypothetical person’s transphobic beliefs certainly steered The Algorithm into showing them transphobic content, but the algorithm in turn showed them racist content that steered their beliefs. This vicious cycle only accelerates when their new racist views are reflected in The Algorithm and the whole process starts again.

3. Who is Brian?

The process of writing this essay has made me rethink my relationship with The Algorithm. I sat down to type with the assumption that the two versions of me would be separable. Now I understand that that's not the case. The person I feel like I am influences the algorithm and the algorithm influences who I feel like I am.

Who I am in the world is a hybrid of my core values and beliefs and my superficial characteristics, the latter of which is informed by my complex and two-way relationship to technology. I don’t think this makes me any less of my own person, but it certainly makes what it means to be my own person more complex.

Works Cited

Little, Olivia, and Richards, Abbie. “TikTok's Algorithm Leads Users from Transphobic Videos to Far-Right Rabbit Holes.” Media Matters for America, Media Matters, 5 Oct. 2021, https://www.mediamatters.org/tiktok/tiktoks-algorithm-leads-users-transphobic-videos-far-right-rabbit-holes.

“The Batch Weekly Issues: Issue 122.” The Batch, DeepLearning.AI, 15 Dec. 2021, https://www.deeplearning.ai/the-batch/issue-122/.

Dill, S. R., et al. “Subdural Empyema: Analysis of 32 Cases and Review.” Clinical Infectious Diseases, vol. 20, no. 2, 1995, pp. 372–386., https://doi.org/10.1093/clinids/20.2.372.

Geyser, Werner. “How Does the TikTok Algorithm Work?” Influencer Marketing Hub, 18 July 2022, https://influencermarketinghub.com/tiktok-algorithm/.

Keith, Morgan. “From Transphobia to Ted Kaczynski: How TikTok's Algorithm Enables Far-Right Self-Radicalization.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 12 Dec. 2021, https://www.businessinsider.com/transphobia-ted-kaczynski-tiktok-algorithm-right-wing-self-radicalization-2021-11.

Richter, Felix. “Infographic: 7 in 10 American Teens Use Tiktok.” Statista Infographics, 6 Nov. 2020, https://www.statista.com/chart/22446/most-used-social-media-platforms-by-us-teens/.

Smith, Ben. “How Tiktok Reads Your Mind.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 6 Dec. 2021, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/05/business/media/tiktok-algorithm.html.